When we talk about child development, it’s easy to focus on the big, visible milestones. First words, first steps, the first day of school. But some of the most important growth is happening beneath the surface in how children understand their emotions, respond to others and make sense of the world around them.

That’s where social and emotional development comes in.

It’s not just about behavior. It’s about how kids learn to identify what they’re feeling, manage those emotions and build relationships. And a big part of that process is something researchers call mentalization, the ability to understand your own thoughts and feelings, as well as the thoughts and feelings of others.

So, what does that actually look like in everyday life? How does a parent’s ability to recognize and respond to their child’s emotions shape how that child handles their own feelings? And how might a parent’s own past experiences influence the way they show up for their child today?

Dr. Hailey Hyunjin Choi, assistant professor in Missouri State University’s School of Teaching, Learning and Developmental Sciences, answers those questions.

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