The process, formality and expectations of dating changes with each generation, and with the advent and popularity of social media, communication in dating relationships has made an even more dramatic change. According to Dr. Kelly Wood, department head of communication at Missouri State University, technology speeds up self-disclosure which can end the relationship sooner.

“What we know from research in this area suggests that the computer-mediated environment actually encourages self-disclosure of private information, more so than in face-to-face situations,” Wood said. “This hyperpersonal phenomenon makes a person more vulnerable due to the sharing of personal information online quickly.”

As these relationships grow over a short period of time, it has become common for participants to send revealing pictures or begin “sexting,” noted Wood. In a face-to-face relationship, this same person might show restraint or have inhibitions about participating in similar activities.

“These feelings of closeness that one has early on do not always stand the test of time because of the depth of the information being shared so quickly,” said Wood. “It may also create a feeling of knowing someone more than one really does. Many times these online type relationships are more fleeting than face-to-face.”

Although research shows women typically are the ones in the relationship to self-disclose earlier, both sexes show regret over revealing too much too soon. The similarities don’t end there; Wood noted that men and women share many values in building relationships.

“We have to be careful not to exaggerate differences between men and women. Instead, we are more alike in our communication needs and relationship values than most would believe,” Wood said. “We have a fair amount of research that suggests men and women value the same sorts of things in a relationship such a trust, intimacy and closeness.”

In a study of college students, both males and females were given recorders to record the amount of speech they engaged in during the day. The study reported that men and women spoke on average 16,000 words per day, which dispels the myth that women talk much more than men. Other studies show that men and women experience the same amount of emotions in any given day, noted Wood, which quells the myth that women are more emotional than men.

“Women simply express their emotions more frequently and openly,” said Wood. “The challenge is to appreciate each person for their own communication style and to recognize that men and women sometimes express themselves differently.”

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